The child is being hurt in the garden: what to do? If a child is offended at school, in a kindergarten, on the street: advice of a psychologist and a lawyer
Greetings to you, my dear readers! Not only adults have problems at work, conflicts with superiors or quarrels with subordinates. Our children, too, sometimes come hard times. Recently, a woman addressed me with the following problem: my child is being hurt in kindergarten, what to do. I would like to talk about how parents should choose tactics, how to help the toddler overcome difficulties and how to understand what caused this situation.
Tactics of non-interference
At the moment when the child is offended, the parents fall into two categories: those who are trying to help, do everything instead of him and those who leave the child to cope with the problems. Both tactics have their pros and cons. Therefore, if your child began to offend, I suggest you combine both tactics and choose the most useful sides of both.
1 tactic. Trying to solve the conflict of your baby instead of him, you do not allow him to learn to defend himself. And this, in turn, is a very useful skill that may be useful to him in the future. Children of such parents will not be able to solve problems on their own; they will wait for Mom or Dad to come and settle the conflict.
2 tactics. When you are completely removed from the problems of the child and give him the freedom to deal with the problems himself, then he subconsciously can get a picture that parents do not care what happens to him, his problems are not important to them and they do not pay him enough attention.
It is very important to learn how to combine both tactics and help your child overcome difficulties in communicating with peers. To begin, I offer you the article "". In it you will find a lot of useful information on how to make your son more confident and happier.
Find out the reason
Before you act, try to find out the cause of the conflict. Maybe your bull is really to blame. For example, he does not want to share toys with other children, and they call him greedy beef for it. Or your son himself picks up the girls, and for this they close him in a locker.
Not always the cause in other children, look at the situation more openly.
Talk to the tutor. How she sees the situation in the group, why your baby is being bullied and why adults do not take any steps. Speak calmly and do not blame the teacher. She can be your good ally in the matter of education.
Carefully look at the behavior of your baby on the playground when you just walk in the yard. How does he behave with other children? Learn his behavior and communication style. This can help you understand why there are problems in the garden.
If your child cannot answer in a coherent way why he is being teased in the kindergarten, arrange a small role-playing game. Take a few toys and let the baby give all the names, as in the garden. Let him choose a toy that will be him, the tutor, his friend or enemy.
And keep a close eye on what kind of manipulations a baby makes with toys, who communicates with whom, whom he puts next to him, who behaves like. This game can give you a huge amount of useful information.
Read the article "". In it you can find a lot of useful and interesting information that can be useful to you.
How can you help
Parents need to learn to trust their child. Do not assume that he himself can not cope. Do not make important decisions instead of him, do not try to resolve the conflict with another child on your own.
The best option would be to talk, find out what the reason is, ask how he is going to solve the problem, what he can offer himself, whether he needs your help. Teach your child not to complain, but to calmly share impressions.
Let the baby know that you are always there and ready to come to his aid. But besides this, children should understand that they will have to solve many issues themselves, get out of various troubles and cope with difficulties.
You can meet separately with other parents and discuss what is happening in your group. Calmly, without charges and attacks. Do not criticize other children at all. Try to find a way out of this situation together, because you are adults.
Love your baby and trust him. Help and develop the ability to solve problems and not be afraid of difficulties. You will succeed if you talk more with the child.
Do you know the reason why the baby had problems in kindergarten? Is your son fighting? What does the teacher say?
Have a nice day!
Oksana A.
Sep 12 2007, 04:49 PM
Good day.
Sep 12 2007, 05:11 PM
In any district clinic there is a child psychologist, and in the garden they don’t manage without it. I strongly advise you to contact a psychologist in kindergarten, they are usually competent in these matters.
Oksana A.
Sep 12 2007, 06:16 PM
The fact is that we have a small town and there are no good psychologists, but it doesn’t cope with a person who doesn’t cope with his own problems .... I don’t think this is a good option
Nata mom pirate
Sep 12 2007, 07:02 PM
QUOTE |
Good day. I would like to consult with a specialist on this issue. My daughter is 5 years old, she goes to kindergarten, and she constantly complains that she’s offended by one child, another. Just today I came and said that a commission came to them in the kindergarten and the choir was recruited from the children, who would appear before the commission itself. They wanted to take her as a good voice, but one girl from the daughter group of Milan said that "I will not let you go, you will not go singing" and she categorically refused to speak. When I asked why she replied that she was afraid of Milan, that she was beating everyone, biting and cursing. I say to her, "if you are offended, let's surrender," and she cries and says that she is sorry for the skin. We tried to give to the karate section, but nothing has changed. Conversations lead nowhere. I can't go to kindergarten all the time and deal with offenders. Please tell me how to teach a child to fight back, how to instill confidence that she is no worse than other children and that they should not be allowed to wipe their feet about themselves. After all, this is only a kindergarten, and there are still a lot of difficulties ahead that will need to be addressed. I really look forward to hearing and hope for your help. |
Consultation of specialistsTemka psychological counseling
Oksana A.
Sep 12 2007, 08:27 PM
QUOTE (Nat pirate's mother @ Sep 12 2007, 08:02 PM) | ||
How long has it started? Did your daughter just go to the garden? If I were you, I would first speak with the tutor. How is it really happening? Maybe your daughter is fantasizing a bit. My son has always been guilty for the last two years, but not him. He was pushed, dropped, pushed, taken away, not given. 70% of fantasy and only 30% of the truth. But if everything happens so as you said go to section Consultation of specialistsTemka psychological counselingand ask Nathan a question, she is a good psychologist, and can give you advice. |
Thanks for the advice. My daughter has been going to the garden for 4 years now, and similar problems began literally half a year ago. In the younger group, on the contrary, everyone was afraid of her. She was never afraid to fight back, but there is such a situation that I myself am amazed.
Sep 12 2007, 10:28 PM
Apparently your baby was "crushed" by the new "authorities" in the person of Milana and other more "strong" children in this regard. now she is afraid of all children at all. it seems to her that all the children are the same as Milan. a good way is to give your daughter to some other team, be it a sports section or another "hobby group".
Oksana A.
Sep 13 2007, 10:44 AM
Today we talked with the teacher, it turned out that this is not only our problem, and my Tanya is only afraid of Milan, as well as all the children in the group, and she gets along well with the rest of the children, plays with the boys and the girls. The girl turned out to be completely uncontrollable, not only fighting with children, but also sending carers when trying to make her a comment to far away. So this is more of a problem for Milana’s parents. In general, at the group meeting, it was decided by the whole group to announce this girl a bikot. Let's hope that the situation will be corrected.
Mama Pasha
Sep 13 2007, 10:54 AM
Not weak. Perhaps boycotting a girl will not help. Here it is necessary to communicate with her parents very closely.
Nata mom pirate
Sep 13 2007, 12:48 PM
Oksana A.
Sep 13 2007, 12:52 PM
Perhaps this is what is done. This morning my husband drove his daughter into the garden and, with the whole group, summoned her to the blackboard and shamed her. Let's see how it will work, in the evening I will pick up and find out how the children behaved. If nothing changes, you’ll have to talk to your parents.
Oksana A.
Sep 13 2007, 02:58 PM
QUOTE (Nat-mother pirate @ Sep 13 2007, 01:48 PM) |
I agree, with Pasha's mom. There should be a serious conversation with parents. But suddenly, parents are just unmanageable?. There are several options. 1. Hooligansky. Your daughter, together with other children, should boycott this Milana if she starts offending someone. But only collectively together. 2. Adult. If after talking with her parents, the girl’s behavior does not change, write a complaint to the manager or go to her to talk - a group of parents, about transferring Milana to another group or another garden, for health reasons ( in our garden, but not in our group, b He was such a precedent, the boy was eventually transferred to another garden — he terrorized the whole group). |
Hello! Andrei Dobrodeev is with you and in this article I will tell you what to do if a child is hurt in kindergarten?
In the last article I told which garden it is best to send the child to, if you have not read, then to this article.
So, before I begin to answer the question, I decided to make a plan for the article:
- How to find out the reason?
- What to do if a child is hurt in kindergarten?
- My recommendations and advice.
- Site news + awarding prizes to the winners of the crossword puzzle contest.
Child offended in kindergarten. Main reasons.
Now I will tell you what are the main reasons why they can offend a child in kindergarten:
- Funny name of the child.
- The physical development of the child (big ears, shaggy hair, red hair, the child is too fat or thin, the child is too high or low).
- Speech defect (child speaks poorly or sounds in words incorrectly).
- The baby eats the bastards.
- The child is constantly crying (whiny baby).
- Child sneak (always complains to caregiver).
- The child is uncommunicative or modest.
Here you see how many reasons to find fault with your child? You probably now have a question:
“And how to find out which of all these reasons is connected with my child?”
Well let's try to figure it out ...
How to find out the reason?
Well, first, you need to ask the tutor:
“Who offends your baby in a group?”
If the caregiver cannot answer, but it happens (she simply does not notice it, because everything can happen when the caretaker does not see, and your child does not complain about the offender). Then you should ask the tutor to watch your baby, with whom he plays, who can offend him and. etc. I think you understand me. 😉
Secondly, talk to your child, ask if he has friends in the kindergarten, with whom he constantly plays, who sticks to him, fights, etc.
What to do if the child is offended in the kindergarten?
Think maybe the case in your family? Maybe the child is depressed by the situation at home? Do not you push hard on your baby? If in a family, a child is often beaten, a hand (belt) is lifted on him, then he may be withdrawn and will not be able to give the test to the offender. He does not become.
Maybe your child is not neatly dressed? Maybe your child has old clothes? So know this is also the reason! Try to buy a baby new clothes! Children also discuss each other as we are adults. Remember this!
Try to cut the child in time, bring it to the hairdresser in time, watch it, it is also very important, as well as in terms of health, and in terms of communication with peers.
If your child has a speech defect, contact a speech therapist!
If your child is eating bastards, read on!
If the child is constantly crying for nothing, read!
If your child is physically weak (it happens at the gene level), then give it to the sport (for example, at)!
If a child's eyes are squinting, consult an ophthalmologist!
I hope I answered your question! We now turn to the next paragraph of our article.
If your child is going to kindergarten soon, I want to recommend you a free video course of Ekaterina Kes (Buslova) “HOW TO PREPARE A CHILD FOR A KINDERGARTEN?”. After listening to the video course, you will learn: How to teach a child to remain without a mother? How to introduce a child to kindergarten in advance? How to transfer a child to the kindergarten mode of the day? What games to play with the child during preparation?
News!
The plans until the end of June to customize your site technically:
- I want to remove two small sidebars and make one.
- How to do it, put a new beautiful subscription form.
- Colorfully make out the popular records of the site.
- Put the top commentators and launch a new contest on the site!
Winners in the competition for solving crosswords!
And the last thing I wanted to tell you today is to announce the winners of the crossword puzzle contest! This month there were only 2 crossword puzzles, well, I just really didn’t calculate it when I said that I would do them every week. I publish an article once every 3–5 days, and every week I don’t manage to do crosswords for you. Sorry 🙂
Therefore, I decided that I would publish a crossword puzzle once a month and the prizes would be more serious! So if you want to be among the winners, then subscribe!
So, I congratulated the winners of the first crossword in.
Now winners of the second crossword:
1st place and 50 rubles - Olga Andreeva
2nd place and 30 rubles - Yuliya ( [email protected])
3rd place and 20 rubles - Kseniya ( [email protected])
Lucky - Elena Kashina ( [email protected]) and she also receives 20 rubles to her phone!
Congratulations! Well done! Winners please unsubscribe to me and throw off your phone number, the money is waiting for you.)))
Well, for those who still do not believe in what he can get for free on the phone at the end of the month from the site sitethen look at them, the winners!
On this I have everything for today! Bye everyone, bye!
On November 28, there was an online chat "Everything about Preschoolers" with a psychologist Lyudmila Pashkevich. Each mommy could get answers to their questions. We have summarized some of them by topic and will be gradually published on the portal. Today, what to do if the child is offended.
We have been going to kindergarten for the second year already, our daughter is 3 years and 8 months old - in the kindergarten this year one boy in the group offends everyone, beats, bites her daughter. How can a child be protected from such an attitude? I understand once, but when it is always ... how can the child explain what to do?
Tell your daughter to stay away from this child, and of course, so that she (and all children) should immediately call for help from a caregiver or a nanny. You can seriously talk with the tutor, ask what measures they are taking, whether the work is being done with their parents. If the answers do not satisfy you and if the situation is not corrected for a long time, you can collect the signatures of all parents in the group and contact the administration. Not only teachers and the psychologist, but also parents should work with the child. In the most critical cases, the administration may, at the request of the parents of the group, ask to stop visiting the garden.
What advice does a child have if there is an aggressive boy in the group that the caregivers do not cope with? Often beats (and on the head), bites (the bite was visible for more than a day). I taught my son to cope with words, but he complains that the boy does not respond to the words. How to explain the permissible limits of self-defense?
She told the caregivers that they paid special attention to this problem, but sometimes something happens again.
Unfortunately, such children are, with them, as well as with their parents, should educators and a psychologist. At 3.8, he will not yet be able to understand this facet of permissible self-defense and may injure this boy. Therefore, the safest way out of such a situation is to advise your child not to play with this fighter and immediately call for help from an educator. Dads are usually taught to give change, but again, the child is still very difficult to determine this line, and this can only be the most extreme measure. In a situation where words do not help, it is better to distance oneself from the offender, deprive him of his intercourse, and of course, call for help from adults.
Child 3,5g. goes to kindergarten from August of this year (kindergarten from 3 years).
In the group is a boy who beats all the kids. The teachers themselves can no longer cope with the boy, although they punish him and scold him. Parents do not cope with the child either, and they hope for kindergarten that they will re-educate.
I talked to this boy when my child was given practically to my eyes. To which the boy in aggression told me that I would beat and beat everyone.
How do we save our children from beating a boy?
Parents understand everything and do not object if the son is re-educated.
I forgot to write that the kids started giving this change to the boy but the truth is not so strong, but there is no result.
Good day! The marvelous position of the fighter’s parents - “let the garden re-educate him”! They should bring him up and it is their responsibility, including legal, if their child causes harm to another child. If the conversations do not help, you can collect the signatures of all parents of the group that you are asking to protect your children from this child. Administration will be required to take action. One of the first: special classes in the group on the prevention of aggressive behavior, individual work of a psychologist with this child, a recommendation to turn to other professionals outside the garden (sand therapy, other types of art therapy). If all of the above does not take action, then re-read your contract with the garden, there must be a clause about the behavior of the pupil, that he should not harm, etc. Further actions will be within the competence of the garden administration.
The retaliatory aggression will only cultivate cruelty in your children and will affirm your fighter in the correctness of his actions. It can be influenced only by talking, isolation (if you fight, we will not play with you) and special exercises.
That is, the child does not need to be taught to give change?
I always taught my son to solve problems by talking, but when I understood and saw more than once with my own eyes how he was beaten, I realized that by talking I could not help the cause, and began to teach to give surrender.
I think that not a single Mom can bear it when they beat her child and will take action. The question is, what are these measures and how the child will understand everything, because my son often perceives my advice a little differently.
How do you explain exactly how to give change? Not very hard? To fall? To go blood? Where is this line? If it is impossible to solve the problem by talking, you can call for help the referee - an adult, and if the situation repeats itself - refuse to communicate to this child, ignore him. The change is taught to give dads, this is a masculine view, as a psychologist and as a woman, I can not advise it.