Why a man no longer wants a woman. Why a man does not want a woman - causes, signs
But it seems that everything started out so well - love to dizziness, cuddles, exciting kisses, passionate sex ... Where is all this? Why did passion and desire disappear? Why a man no longer wants a woman? Fast falling asleep in bed, watching TV until the night, does not notice hints from his wife - all this is a sign of lack of desire.
Sooner or later every pair has this problem. It seems that everything remains as before, however, the husband refuses to give all the hints of his wife. If a woman in the family refuses to have sex, then it becomes immediately clear: children, home, fatigue, stress. But what is the reason for refusing sex from a man? There are several answers to this question.
The main reasons for rejecting sex
Passed love. The simplest and clearest reason. When a man and a woman loved each other, there was passion, sex, and desire. And now there is no love. Accordingly, the desire to have sex with this man is also lost. They live as before, but no sex. Only the habit of being together remains.
Change in appearance. Men love with their eyes. Not casual ladies with forms and beauties are always under the scrutiny of men. If the wife has changed in appearance, she has grown stubbornly, or, on the contrary, she has lost weight, she has had a short haircut, the man has no desire. In order to be well aroused, a man must like a woman, she must excite. And the man, hardly plump, with an unwashed head, in a torn T-shirt, a man is unlikely to have a desire. Or maybe the man himself began to complex? Perhaps the beer belly and those extra pounds discourage him to undress in front of a woman.
Changing bed life. And possible changes in behavior in bed. The wife has become less passionate, does not want to change poses, does not pay enough attention to the man, does not excite him, often refuses to have sex. Sooner or later, a man gets tired every time asking for sex, making comments, and he burns out.
Health. Age changes sometimes affect the health of men. If this is the reason, then you should carefully talk to your husband and go to the doctor. This topic is very delicate, because a man cannot recognize his inconsistency as a man, for him it is a blow. Do not laugh, curse her husband - it can kill in him the desire to have sex completely.
Mistress. Unfortunately, the most common reason for the husband’s refusal to have sex is the presence of a mistress. He spends time with her, goes to cafes, cinemas, restaurants, walks, having fun. With her, he makes love. They do not have to each other, their relationship is based on the love of sex. After satiating a lot, the man returns home, and at home for the second “performance” he no longer has the strength or desire. He is not only physically dependent on his mistress, but also psychologically. He constantly thinks about her, about having sex with her. Fighting such a phenomenon as "Mistresses" is difficult, but possible. But first you need to think about whether such a man is needed after all.
Childbirth. The most commonplace reason why a man does not want a woman is childbirth. Many men after giving birth lose interest in sex with his wife. There are several reasons for this. For example, if earlier he saw his wife as a sexual object, now he sees her as a mother. And some men cannot engage in "vulgarities" with the mother of their child. Another reason, fear of hurting. After giving birth, a woman needs some time to recover. Understanding this, the man is afraid that he will suddenly hurt, or tear something there. If the woman had tears, then stitches were required. Perhaps the doctor did something wrong, and the couple now feel discomfort during sex. But in any case, these reasons are reparable. You need to talk to your husband, reassure him that he will not do anything sick. Over time, his psychological reasons will pass.
Causes of decreased libido in men may have emotional or physiological roots.
- Pick a convenient time and a lonely place;
- This question is delicate. Be over tactful;
- Listen without interrupting. If a man is embarrassed and embarrassed, carefully ask leading questions, but do not push. If, on the contrary, in your address you hear the accusations, do not rush to go on mutual insults and swearing. This reaction may be a defense against unwanted conversation. Be as patient and understanding as possible;
- Do not start a conversation with accusations, claims and tears.
If he refuses to discuss at all, offer to postpone the conversation, but not for long. Discuss how much time a man needs to gain determination for a conversation. Do not postpone for a long time.
Talk directly to find out if the reason for not intimacy is causing the health problem:
- Decreased testosterone. If a man in the age group when you can talk about old age. If we consider the problem of age early, you will need expert advice and medical intervention;
- Workload at work may entail a desire to take antidepressants, coffee, alcohol, other stimulants or psychoactive drugs that reduce libido;
- Diseases. Any disease, not only the urogenital system (including venereal);
- Acceptance of anabolic steroids in sports.
In a frank conversation there is a chance to find out the reason. A Western or European man would run to a psychologist, but in Russia the discussion of personal problems with a psychoanalyst is rare. Therefore, it should support his man in addressing this issue.
Psycho-emotional causes may be as follows:
- Daily workload, household chores, childcare and other concerns can have an adverse effect on your appearance. Non-sexual appearance (untidiness, excess weight) pushes a husband or a friend to think that you yourself do not want to look attractive to him.
- Excessive nagging, lack of affection, frequent discontent and accusations will repel any representative of the stronger sex.
- Over time, sex life can become a routine. The lack of diversity in sex is detrimental to the relationship as a whole.
- Sexual injuries. These disorders can be in "sleep mode", but something or someone made the traumatic events awaken.
- For a long time, excessive emotional and physical exertion, poor financial situation, insomnia, elevated emotional exertion, and poor nutrition can be causes of reduced sexual desire.
- Excessive viewing of pornography and masturbation can reduce your sexual function.
- The worst fear for any woman is that he really can have another. But better to know about it, agree or not?
What can be done?
- Do not ignore the problem to both.
- Communicate. This is the key to the solution. Although the conversation may introduce him into an awkward, even humiliating position, it is important to express your concerns.
- Consult. Now you can find a specialist who, in the course of work, will reveal the true cause and show ways to solve the problem.
- Sometimes a sensual focus can refresh a relationship. Having learned to touch your man as he likes, you will revive the romance. Love foreplay does not start in the bedroom. Do everything associated with the manifestation of tenderness, care, affection and love.
- Personal hygiene is associated with desire directly. Take care of your appearance, observe the hygiene of the oral cavity and body. By this you demonstrate that you care.
- If you experience symptoms of erectile dysfunction, consult a doctor and follow all recommendations.
And remember that any problem is easy to solve in its initial stage. If you really cherish the person and the relationship with him, be sensitive and do not postpone, so necessary for everyone, communication.
Than we with friends have bragged? It is clear that the groom is prettier and to whom he presented. And now ... comrades, I am ashamed to admit, but we boast about work. Here we are, women, great! But as long as we speculatively move away from men, they move away from us. Moreover, the strong half of our country in recent years has rather grown its strength. Every woman sooner or later faces masculine indifference and even impotence. We are declared impeachment and husbands, and even romantic lovers. Why such a dangerous phenomenon has penetrated our lives? Let's try to figure it out.
REASON number 1
Too many mistresses
"All men are polygamous!" - small businessman Vasily Petrovich liked to repeat. And he went to his mistress Luce. Although he already had a wife, Tanya. My wife guessed, but did not resent. And suddenly Vasily lost interest in sex. Both Tanya and Lucy noted that the snoring of Basil, and not love moans, is regularly heard.
So Tanya got into her briefcase with her husband. And there - a plump notebook with female names. A telephone number, a price and a description of sexual services are recorded against each name ... A traitor attached to the wall repented and went on vacation with his wife.
"Men need a variety of women. This is the highest law of biology." Excellent "law": one lover, another, third ... But our Vasily Petrovich, he is not King Solomon, to keep the harem ... As a result, he exhales and begins to fail. And first of all, with his wife, who is most tired.
What should an indifferent husband's wife do?
Psychologists are advised to leave her husband briefly alone. Maybe even let him live separately. "And if he does not return - how are the children?" - exclaim another wife. The answer is: when my “temporarily released” father did not return to my mother, I cried for order. And then I understood: why does he need me? This bore, which is always enrage my threesomes, my "stupid interests" ... No fun for dad! So what about children do not worry. These young natures in all pluses will find.
REASON number 2
"Do not be born active!"
Leonid met Galina on the Internet. We exchanged a couple of letters and made an appointment. Galina is a charming woman: her eyes, the third size and height is 175. And by the end of the meeting she decided that Leonid was right for her. Compliments and makes the bill paid. She gave him a passionate kiss and invited urgently to visit. But Leonid blushed something. And did not go. And then did not call back. “This is the same as drinking brandy in one gulp,” Leonid told me later. “I can't do that. She's too relaxed.”
Why does he behave this way?
What to say, and we, women, are greedy for foolish ideas. And often we behave like wild mares. However, according to scientific data, the modern man is not yet accustomed to quick happiness. On the subcortex, he laid down that a serious relationship is not quick. Seriously long. I know a very beautiful girl who gave herself to a man a couple of hours after they met. Began to meet. She was waiting for a hand offer. And he made an offer ... to call her girlfriend to bed.
REASON number 3
Male workaholic
Eugene long courted Anna. She was a little less than thirty. He is less than forty. And everything went with them, like the champions in synchronized swimming. Mutual understanding, yoga, ski. And then love reached its climax. That is sex. And then it turned out that Eugene is ready to please Anna only on weekends. And on weekdays - dinner in a cafe and sleep. Because "yes, I have to work by 8 am, thoughts about the report in my head climb, what's the sex there."
How to deal with a workaholic?
Annual reports, negotiations, contracts. We'll have to accept and restrict love to the weekend ... But a business man almost never changes! That is only on business trips. As for me, I hate this world of business men. One business gentleman for five hours in a row portrayed in my faces a lawsuit that he had just won. Then he portrayed passion for 5 minutes. Then he fell asleep. And at that time I made a firm decision: NEVER get involved with white-collar workers.
REASON number 4
Dreams of Superwoman
I met Pavel in the subway. He was even handsome. But a close relationship seemed to postpone until better times. While he was postponing — he told: his wife — a stunned model — had quit. And there is no peace for him. But my sunny aura, they say, gives him hope. Then, in a friendly way, he lived with me for 2 months. In the free room to not pay for the apartment. I was nervous: why does he not even hug me ever? And then she overheard him talking to her friend on the phone: "She is not beautiful, but a man, damn, good! Here I will meet the girl, then I will leave." Like I'm not a "girl", but with an apartment. I kicked him out the next day.
Needless to say, the demands of men to us are higher. Female beauty thanks to TV commercials and gloss overgrown with wild signs: height, narrowness in the hips, sportiness. In America, thanks to the TV series "Sex and the City", the term "modeler" appeared, that is, a lover of model appearance. Looks like my bad lover was from this series.
How to recognize a modeler?
These guys do not respond to "ordinary" women, without makeup, stylish clothes and hairstyles. If you are without makeup and sweat pants, they will not fit you at all.
REASON number 5
Superman dreams
But how interesting Arkady acted. By the way, at least a man. He spent the whole week striving for one beauty. Eclairs fed, drove to the zoo, back and forth. Then came the romantic moment. And then she says to him: "Come on, Arkady, show me what you are capable of!" And here at our Arcadius everything went down. "What do you mean," show me "?! Who fed you with pies! Who was waiting for half an hour in the cold! I should be spinning in your bunk? This is you," show me, not me! " In general, after such a nervous explanation, he got dressed and left.
What should a woman do?
Women, too, with might and main to make demands on men. To husbands, lovers and grooms. One has little love, the other - respect, the third - money. And from these exorbitant demands, men also give up. And everything else. So let's sit down and appreciate our chatter. Indeed, in essence, the word can inspire. And can kill the desire. However, when we love, love itself will tell you when to bite your tongue.
After studying a little Russian man, scientists report: he avoids too sexy women. He also avoids intelligent, talkative, silent and stupid women. He avoids the rich and arrogant, the poor and the timid. He seems to me to avoid women altogether. On our man in the country accounts for a half women. That is, everyone can afford a half lover. And with such an abundance, it turns out, sometimes we still do not want! In sound mind and memory.
How to solve this problem and what do you, dear readers, think about all this disgrace? Tell your stories by email: [email protected]
MEN'S LOOK
Drag the guy in the cold!
Once my great-grandmother, a gypsy, revealed the most important secret of happiness. Sexual.
Granddaughters, Grandma told me. “Now, if you want everything to work out with the girl, drag her into the cold.” From the heat they are too thrilled and sit on the neck.
I was then seven years old, but for some reason I remembered these words. Sunk into the soul.
Well, or somewhere else, deeper ...
Let's now take a look at your problem with an armed (this secret) eye.
A man does not want sex? Most likely, you just created too comfortable conditions. Warm slippers, a hot dinner, a bath with foam, an armchair, a TV ... This is any of the hottest machos who will melt down to the degree of "Or, maybe, well, it ..."
And in the cold everything is the opposite: the blood burns, the pep rises fairly. And I want to cuddle up with someone warm to warm up.
Therefore, drag your loved one to the frost!
Half an hour before the arrival of the peasant, always air the apartment so that it is cool in it (but not permafrost, everything is good in moderation).
Hide slippers! Let one evening go barefoot (it is even useful).
Cool to the desired temperature of his favorite beer (the latter is even preferable).
And just before ... Take a piece of ice and arrange sex games (well, what are you, "Nine and a half weeks" did not look?!).
If this does not help, try going to a ski resort in the Swiss Alps ...
And you will see: this will give your relationship a frosty freshness.
And you can feed the peasant later ...